Asking For Help

I don’t know why, but asking for help always came easily to me. I don’t know how to do many things. I only do the things that I am interested in. But I resolve to do everything that comes my way by asking for help.

I will go out and ask anybody who will listen and most of the time I get what I want. Without me even doing the work. And I don’t pay for it either (most of the time; sometimes I give a little gift as a thank you). Asking is just that powerful!

But most people don’t do it. Partly because they want to do it themselves and partly because it’s very hard for them to ask. Because what if the person says no?

Well, I hate to break it to you, but if the person says no, then you are no worse than you were before. Do you understand that?

Because if you do. Then you are on your way to success in getting the help you want or need. And always trying to do things by ourselves comes from being afraid to ask. In other words…

‘’Being afraid of rejection.’’

And rejection hurts. Sometimes it hurts so bad we can’t even take it. But what is it about rejection that hurts so bad? And the answer is…

‘’We want to be liked and we want the thing we are asking for.’’

If the statement above doesn’t make any sense let me explain…

As long as you are attached to the outcome you will feel fear. Fear of not getting it or not being liked. But if instead of that, you let go of the outcome and you say… ‘’I will just ask and see what will happen’’. No psychological damage will incur. And you will be free to move forward.

There is something in this world called paradoxical intention. Coined by the famous psychologist Dr. Viktor Frankl. Which basically states that whatever you are trying to do you will get the opposite. In other words, if you are trying to do something you will most likely fail at it. Because you are trying to get it. And that puts a bind on it. It can’t happen naturally anymore so it fails. Try telling a baby to play because you want somebody to see him play. It will just bug the child and don’t know what to do. Because playing comes naturally. He doesn’t have to think about it.

I played volleyball for many years. And whenever I would try to succeed at doing something in practice or in a game. I would fail miserably. But when I would just do the thing and not even think about succeeding at it. It always came through.

I remember once, when our team was asked by some scientists from the university of medicine in my home town. To come and help them in a study by having them read our brain wave patterns. We said yes and went there. Now, the chief scientist was never an athlete. And she was asking me about how I prepared for doing a particular drill at practice. She went on by saying… ‘’You really need to focus and be conscious of every move you make to succeed at it’’.

And before I could answer, her assistant, a young undergraduate student. Who played basketball said… ‘’It’s best when you don’t think about it, isn’t it?’’. And I said yes. And the head scientist was a bit shocked about the answer.

This goes to show that we get in our own way by trying to succeed at the thing we want. In this case, asking for help. We need that yes. And because we need it, we become stuck.

All the people that have succeeded, have used this principle of not caring about the outcome and just doing. If you look at all the famous billionaires right now and listen to their stories of how they got to where they got. You will see that at some point they hit rock bottom, or they loved what they did so much that the outcome didn’t matter.

You see it, especially in the stories where they have hit rock bottom. People misunderstand it. They think that at rock bottom the only way is up. But I’m here to tell you it isn’t. If you hit rock bottom and still cling to the outcome (your life or money). You will sink lower until it’s all over.

But what happened to these people who succeeded was that when they were at their lowest. They gave up wanting the riches or the fame or anything. A calm came over them and they just went forward with no desire. They have accepted the worst thing it could possibly happen. And they became ok with it.

So, by removing their blockages. They freed up their energy, and it was all uphill from there.

So, to sum up…

Ask for help and stop caring about the outcome. Stop caring if the person laughs at you or thinks you’re stupid or whatever. Just ask! And your life will change!