The Need For Perfection And Our Habit Of Quitting

Whenever we try something new. Or we really want to learn a new skill. We are motivated and very hopeful. That that skill will solve the immediate problem we have. So, we go into it with all we have. We believe we must give it one hundred percent, or we will never acquire it to the degree we need it to. In other words, it just has to be perfect.

And that is where all our problems begin. Because that need for the thing to be perfect is so strong that every step that doesn’t go according to plan brings us disappointment and stress. Which in turn gives us the false impression that what we try to learn is incredibly hard. And that only some of us can do it.

But it shouldn’t be like this!

We take ourselves out of the race even before it has begun. Why?…

Because our expectations don’t match reality. We only look at the success that people have. But never wonder how they got that good. I remember once talking with a client about football. And I asked him who does he think is better, Cristiano Ronaldo or Messi. And his answer was this…

‘’ I think Messi is the better player because he is raw talent. Cristiano Ronaldo just works hard!’’

That left me speechless for a few seconds. But that is exactly how most of us feel. We revere people that we believe have talent. Only because that seems like something God has given, and it excuses us from failing to be like them. Saying… ‘’I just don’t have his talent’’.

But what we don’t see, or what we choose not to see. Is that these talented people work and have worked very hard at what they do. Some might have a slight genetic advantage. But as we see everywhere that is not enough. You see short guys playing in the NBA and being All-Stars. You see short and stubby boxers knocking out everybody that stands in their way. So, genetics is a very, very small part of the equation.

We like to use talent as an excuse for why we quit. Why we didn’t see it through. But that is all it is… An excuse!

So, we remain stuck for a long time. Possibly all our lives. Because we don’t understand that it doesn’t have to be perfect in the beginning. And is supposed to be frustrating. But if we don’t expect to be good at it immediately. And we just start doing it. And practice it at our own pace. Even 5 minutes a day counts. At some point, we will see we have started to become good at it.

We start having success. And then we see something else…

We want to take it to the next level. Because now we have the confidence that we might actually be able to do it. And we invest more time into it. And we have our ups and downs. But in the end, if we stick with it and don’t obsess about making it perfect, we will get to be very good at it. And at that point, we start enjoying the process and start to add our own twist to it. And that makes the skill that we do unique.

And we go from quitting to winning, to having fun. And not worrying about it being perfect!