‘’What Do I Want’’

All my life I wanted to be rich, to be great with women, and to be liked. Now I have succeeded in some of that. I have transformed myself from a total nerd to a guy women would date and even crave. I am liked by people, and I have great friends. I know how to talk to people, and I know how to befriend people. I believe I am a talented guy and usually get what I want. And when I don’t, a better thing comes along anyway.

I am not yet rich, but I am pursuing it. I have skills that help me live comfortably, for now. But I want to go higher. And because of this. My mind is always on business. I think of it from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. But about half a year ago. I have met a man that was successful in the field I am pursuing. And he said ‘’ Now that I can do it successfully, I feel lost and I don’t know what to do with myself. I need to find a new purpose’’

All our life we pursue goals. We do it relentlessly. Each and every one of us. But we never stop and think…

Will I be happy when I get there?

We naturally assume reaching our goals equals happiness. But we never stop and question it. Is it really?

I was talking to the head of a big hospital in London, a heart surgeon, just before Christmas and he told me… that most of his patients are people that do well for themselves. But, because they must advance just a tiny bit further. They destroy their marriages and their health. They have heart attacks and when he tells them they need an operation so he can open their veins so they can live. They tell him they can’t because they need to get back to work.

They sacrifice anything and everything to reach their goal. And for what?

 To be miserable when they get there? Or, if they get there?

That was a wake-up call for me. I was doing that! It consumed me! And it felt like I was going backward. Even though I was giving my best all the time.

I don’t know what to think now when I look back. I went into depression because of this. And I see, in London, men killing themselves because they just can’t get ahead. Only if they knew that that would not bring the happiness they were looking for. Because that’s the point…

We believe reaching that level will just give us a beautiful, pain-free life. But that is seldom the truth. As with the man above, whom I consider a mentor. It won’t! It just won’t! And we need to stop and reflect on this. Now, I am not saying pursuing your dreams is bad. Just that, they are not a be-all and end-all. They are something that keeps us moving forward and that’s it.

Happiness should come from inside us, no matter the environment around us. At the opening of this post, I have listed a series of things about me. That I believe to be true. I look around me and I have a great life. I am happy, but I chose not to be. Because that would have meant I liked where I was and would not reach my ultimate goal, to be rich. And yet I have so many great things going for me.

And so do you!

Do me a favour and just stop for an hour and think of this. Take a few breaths, relax, and enumerate the things you find good in your life. Qualities you have, friends, family, etc.

And sit with it for a little bit. And now close your eyes and imagine you have reached your goal. And from there, let your mind wander and live in that reality for the rest of the hour. And see if, at the end of it, you will still think that reaching that goal is the be-all and end-all you thought it was.

I think not!